Tomorrow is the 24th. A day that was planned over a month ago. Sadly there will be no Six Flags Great America as the rain has made us change our plans but I remember my thoughts as I wrote that down.
"I hope I'm not too big to get on the rides"
I absolutely love amusement parks and Great America in October is even better because they have it tricked out for Halloweens "Fright Fest". I was excited to go but again, the little voice in my head had me very paranoid.
How sad is that? Im so curious to know whether my issues with weight and self image are seriously THAT disturbed or if everyone goes through things like this. Do skinny people ever stop and think how they are physically perceived? I'm sure they do.. but is it on a daily basis? Everytime they eat something? everytime they get dressed? everytime they shower? everytime they look in the mirror? ...
Its mind boggling.
Regardless, as I said our plans have been canceled and though I don't feel as paranoid about fitting into the rides, I still hate that I think like that at times. One of the many many curveballs my mind throws at me all the time. We are all still enjoying a day out but it will more than likely be with indoor activities, i'm looking forward to it!!
But just as tomorrow approaches and I no longer worry about it, my brain is ready for the next hit:
Halloween. I usually work every Halloween but by some miracle of God I managed to get it off this year. I was in utter utter shock. Once I told the best friend she quickly invited me to a Halloween party.. and again... i froze.
Halloween = costumes.
Party = people
costumes + fatty = ridiculous.
well damn. what kind of math is that?! I'm paranoid to look for a costume because I know I will want something cute and dare I even attempt something "sexy"?
The diva in me screams yes but the fatty in me says NO WAY. What if someone has the same costume on except they are 90 pounds lighter?
... ugh. this is what happens when u let ur self confidence shoot to sh*t.
I will be doing some costume shopping sometime next week.
I can't let my mind overtake me any further. I will buy a costume. I will go to the party. I will have fun.
End of story.
I know what you mean about the amusement parks! I had a couple times when I had to get off the ride after waiting in line for an hour because I couldn't get the belt buckled. I wanted to die with embarrassment. I'm sad you won't get to go, though. Amusement parks are awesome, even if they are scary during October. =) Good luck finding a Halloween costume!!!
ReplyDeleteHave yourself a good time at the Halloween party! My hubby got the night off, too, surprisingly. We'll probably just hand out candy and watch TV the rest of the night! LOL!
ReplyDeleteoh kaitlin that sucks!! what sucks most for me was that it wasnt even a rainy day, but we still all had fun.. i GUESS thats the important thing lol
ReplyDeleteChristina, I will surely try to have fun on halloween....... im just super glad to have the night off!