I wanted to fancy this up, pretty this up with cute graphics and such but as I was searching my laptop for a particular image I came across pictures of myself when i was in "ONE-derland".... and my heart sank a little.
Tonight I sit here weighing 217 pounds and I know its not far from such a one-derous place but I think after all the highs i've been on these photos kinda struck me a little low.
How does one go from this:
TO THIS:
I'm quite baffled... and to be perfectly honest... quite disappointed in myself.Granted in those top pics I was somewhere around 180 pounds (still overweight) but the difference is astounding. These last photos were of me between 230-240....
The most recent of those pics was the one in the white jacket. That was me on August 8th, 2009 weighing in at a hearty 240 pounds.
Today as I type this I am down to 217 pounds... accomplishments have been made, goals have been met and I have been feeling so wonderful the last few weeks that I didnt think anything could bring me off this high.
Until I saw the photos that is. Now one might think, "Francesca, you should be happy that youre on your way back to looking like your old self".... that of course, would be the LOGICAL thing to think........... and believe me, I see the difference in my body, the difference in my clothes but I still couldn't help but feel a little envious of the girl in the first photos.
I WILL become her again, only a healthier version of her. I just have to remind myself that this will all take time. I didn't gain the weight overnight, so why should I expect instant results?
For now I would like to thank the YouTube community for being SO INCREDIBLY supportive thus far in my life. I can honestly say I have a place in my heart for many of you and you probably don't even realize it.
Why? Because I know I'm not alone... and in this world with obesity epidemics its hard to say I feel alone but... to see you guys day in and day out venturing out on this same path is just too much to express into words.
XOXO Youtube.
love,
francesca
Awh Youtube loves you too Francesca! I was super excited to see you have a blogspot journal... I just re-opened mine up earlier today :)
ReplyDeleteI definitely know how you feel looking back on the pictures when you are lighter, I have that same thing going on... wishing I knew then what I knew now, so I could have just avoided this whole big mess. And how I felt fat even then... but now when I look back at the pics I would KILL to be that girl again.
Anyways, this is exciting! Yay!
Love Skye
Its rought but YES you and i will both be the way we used to only this time we will appreciate it ten-fold!!! Im excited that other people have blogs as well as youtube!! yay!
ReplyDeleteFrancesca
ReplyDeleteDon't be so hard on yourself. You are doing great.I've been watching your videos and you are working out. You are doing what you can when you can. You've already lost quite a bit of weight. You are right. It doesn't happen over night. It has taken me 1 1/2 years to lose 30 pounds. I see others lose weight at a faster weight and I figure... WTH. Time is going to march on, nad I might as well be working towards a lower weight. I've said it many times... slow and steady wins the race.
You'll get there--we'll get there. Si se puede!!