Ok its been FOREVER and ever......
i've fallen off the bandwagon.. not only have I fallen off of it but I believe it backed up and ran me over.... repeatedly.
Lets cut to the chase. I'm back up to 218 (perhaps even more by now) and today I change it all again. I watched as it crept back on......... i watched as i went back to 206 saying i was still as cute as a button... i watched as it went to 210 saying "oops, thats not too bad"..... i watched as it said 215... and i thought... 215 was one of my goals last year that I was SOOO looking forward too..
only DAMN i can see the weight on my arms, around my stomach and on my face. Its amazing what 15-18 pounds can do to a person....... I want to get back down to 206. from there... i will once again continue the journey in peace. Once I get back to 206 I dont care if I lose one pound every two weeks........ as long as I can maintain it and know that Im ok.
So here we go, 218 to 206........... It shouldn't take long at all but thats only if i can get back on the bandwagon.
Lets go...
Monday, February 8, 2010
Monday, December 28, 2009
Twenty Ten.. wow
Ok so the moment of truth came when I had to step on the scale...... I promised my youtube girls I would own up to whatever damage I had done to myself within the past 4 weeks......
the damage was harsh... wreckless even. I evicted myself from the glorious onderland and weighed in at a whopping 208 pounds......
am i surprised? .. yes.
surprised that actually it was less than 210! I would say only 3 pounds of that gain was actually due to holiday food. The rest has been from stress, worries, fears, and even some newfound happiness..
Emotional eating is a tough cycle to break.
Lots of changes coming up next year. I have a new Youtube channel Im going to be creating. Only because I'd like the fresh start... new video formats, video content, and hopefully it will be the channel that I originally wanted it to be instead of just lackadaisical updates fresh from snoozeville.
For those of you who dont follow the youtube weightloss community, I will fill you in on some minor details of the changes upcoming.
We all know I applied to school. Christmas Eve I got the gift of the acceptance letter. I'm still uncertain if I can make it in time to start in january but I am going to do all that I can to do so. Even if it means taking just one or two classes right now. Finances are tight and I wont be getting financial aid this term (due to last minute of it all) so .. i may be borrowing from the parents. Ugh
But orientation will be on the 6th and that should be when I create my schedule. Then and only then will it be official. The only people who know about the acceptance letter are my younger brother, my friend josh, and my friend Louis. And well... now you know as well lol
Once I get my schedule in black and white I will reveal it to the rest of my friends and family. Only because every single year theyve been hearing me talk about wanting to return and I never follow through. I know my father in particular is very judgemental on the topic. Even once I get my schedule and start classes he will believe it wont last long.
I cant say I blame the man, hes tried to put me through 2 schools already and I have failed him on both. Its only now as an adult that i realize the THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of dollars I have cost him.
I'd be pissed too.
Aside from school, as Ive mentioned before im back in the dating game. As much fun as it is, it also comes with a price. Im starting to like one particular fellow more than Im prepared to. I want to continue to date for a few months (get to know more people as well) but the more I like him the guiltier I feel for seeing or meeting other guys.
So far all I can do is keep everything open and honest with them all and let them know I am seeing other people. My goal is always to be honest. Even if its something they wont want to hear or something that may cause them to back away, I made the vow to myself to give people a chance and to give myself a chance to get to know them.
So this will be interesting indeed... that being said I did make the decision to create another blog about my life outside of weightloss. Once I get that up and started I will post a link to it as well.
For now Im just putting it all on here to update. Another thing pressing on my mind is this new job offer at work. If I will be going to school I will need more money...... aside from more money I will also be needing more time to concentrate on said schooling.
So my dilemma... do I take the fulltime AND go to school.. or do I drop my schedule back down and focus on school primarily? Keep in mind I work overnights from 10pm-7a.m so i do have the time slots open for any classes... but how will that affect my sleeping, eating and mental state of mind?
... I guess i will have to let everything kinda fall into place and see where I stand. Perhaps i can attempt to take on a full time position and if it gets too hard, get back to a part time schedule.
Life will be changing alright.... im 31 years old and finally growing up.
the damage was harsh... wreckless even. I evicted myself from the glorious onderland and weighed in at a whopping 208 pounds......
am i surprised? .. yes.
surprised that actually it was less than 210! I would say only 3 pounds of that gain was actually due to holiday food. The rest has been from stress, worries, fears, and even some newfound happiness..
Emotional eating is a tough cycle to break.
Lots of changes coming up next year. I have a new Youtube channel Im going to be creating. Only because I'd like the fresh start... new video formats, video content, and hopefully it will be the channel that I originally wanted it to be instead of just lackadaisical updates fresh from snoozeville.
For those of you who dont follow the youtube weightloss community, I will fill you in on some minor details of the changes upcoming.
We all know I applied to school. Christmas Eve I got the gift of the acceptance letter. I'm still uncertain if I can make it in time to start in january but I am going to do all that I can to do so. Even if it means taking just one or two classes right now. Finances are tight and I wont be getting financial aid this term (due to last minute of it all) so .. i may be borrowing from the parents. Ugh
But orientation will be on the 6th and that should be when I create my schedule. Then and only then will it be official. The only people who know about the acceptance letter are my younger brother, my friend josh, and my friend Louis. And well... now you know as well lol
Once I get my schedule in black and white I will reveal it to the rest of my friends and family. Only because every single year theyve been hearing me talk about wanting to return and I never follow through. I know my father in particular is very judgemental on the topic. Even once I get my schedule and start classes he will believe it wont last long.
I cant say I blame the man, hes tried to put me through 2 schools already and I have failed him on both. Its only now as an adult that i realize the THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of dollars I have cost him.
I'd be pissed too.
Aside from school, as Ive mentioned before im back in the dating game. As much fun as it is, it also comes with a price. Im starting to like one particular fellow more than Im prepared to. I want to continue to date for a few months (get to know more people as well) but the more I like him the guiltier I feel for seeing or meeting other guys.
So far all I can do is keep everything open and honest with them all and let them know I am seeing other people. My goal is always to be honest. Even if its something they wont want to hear or something that may cause them to back away, I made the vow to myself to give people a chance and to give myself a chance to get to know them.
So this will be interesting indeed... that being said I did make the decision to create another blog about my life outside of weightloss. Once I get that up and started I will post a link to it as well.
For now Im just putting it all on here to update. Another thing pressing on my mind is this new job offer at work. If I will be going to school I will need more money...... aside from more money I will also be needing more time to concentrate on said schooling.
So my dilemma... do I take the fulltime AND go to school.. or do I drop my schedule back down and focus on school primarily? Keep in mind I work overnights from 10pm-7a.m so i do have the time slots open for any classes... but how will that affect my sleeping, eating and mental state of mind?
... I guess i will have to let everything kinda fall into place and see where I stand. Perhaps i can attempt to take on a full time position and if it gets too hard, get back to a part time schedule.
Life will be changing alright.... im 31 years old and finally growing up.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
The case of the missing salad dressing!!
So theres a downfall to dating a number of men... and thats going out to eat a few times a week lol
I havent fixed my eating habits ... i realized its been about a month now and I have yet to eat properly and exercise AT ALL... i should be ashamed of myself. And I am, but I don't have any motivation.
Im upset that my favorite salad dressing ever is nowhere to be found. Kens healthy options dressing Italian with Romano and Red Pepper -- it was wonderful....... a medley of flavors that burst in my mouth as I ate every crunchy little bit of my beloved salads......
... and its been weeks since I've found it.. in any grocery store.
I've tried others and they simply are NOT the same...... nothing compares to it and now that I cant have it, I dont want any salads......
what a damn shame.
I've gone so far as to look for it online and the only thing I found was a case of 12.
Who the heck needs 12 bottles of salad dressing in their home?
... apparently I do... i ordered them and am anxiously awaiting their arrival.
I can't be TOO far off track if Im looking forward to having my salads again, right?
.... thats what I tell myself anyway.
I havent fixed my eating habits ... i realized its been about a month now and I have yet to eat properly and exercise AT ALL... i should be ashamed of myself. And I am, but I don't have any motivation.
Im upset that my favorite salad dressing ever is nowhere to be found. Kens healthy options dressing Italian with Romano and Red Pepper -- it was wonderful....... a medley of flavors that burst in my mouth as I ate every crunchy little bit of my beloved salads......
... and its been weeks since I've found it.. in any grocery store.
I've tried others and they simply are NOT the same...... nothing compares to it and now that I cant have it, I dont want any salads......
what a damn shame.
I've gone so far as to look for it online and the only thing I found was a case of 12.
Who the heck needs 12 bottles of salad dressing in their home?
... apparently I do... i ordered them and am anxiously awaiting their arrival.
I can't be TOO far off track if Im looking forward to having my salads again, right?
.... thats what I tell myself anyway.
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